WELCOME, CHOSEN ONE!
Congratulations! You’ve been selected as one of the elite 144,000 pre-approved cosmic saviors, based on your vibes, vague memories of Lemuria, and ability to post mirror selfies with angel number captions.

Please review your orientation packet below:

SECTION 1: YOUR DIVINE MISSION

• Post spiritual platitudes daily
• Avoid trauma healing, but refer to it often
• Assume anyone who disagrees is “not activated yet”
• Never question the origin of the 144,000™ doctrine, it’s ancient and therefore infallible

SECTION 2: YOUR STARTER KIT

• 1 Deck of Light Language Flashcards
• 3 Instagram filters infused with “galactic essence”
• 1 Crystal-infused water bottle to stay hydrated during vibrational superiority

Optional Upgrade:

• “Starseed Starter Pack”: Includes Pleiadian boyfriend, casual cult access, and a ceremonial ring you definitely “remember from Sirius.”

SECTION 3: RULES OF BEING CHOSEN

• You may not suffer. If you suffer, you are doing it wrong.
• If someone else suffers, it’s their karma and you must not interfere unless it gives you clout.
• If anyone calls you out, block them and whisper “they’re just triggered.”

SECTION 4: HOW TO IDENTIFY OTHER 144K MEMBERS

• They talk about unity while low-key judging everyone.
• They say “we are all one” while spiritually ghosting their shadow.
• They call themselves “Divine Masculine/Feminine” without doing any relationship work.

Thank you for choosing Earth.
We look forward to your light-coded TikToks, passive-aggressive live streams, and casual detachment from reality.

Namaste, Chosen Star Commander.

#144KWelcomePacket
#MissionMisunderstood
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#FalseLightButFashionable