Namastay Quiet Irony

NARCv1.0

Irony #32

The Personality App You Didn’t Download but Somehow Still Got Installed

10 LOVE_BOMB: INITIATE INTENSE ATTENTION + COMPLIMENT OVERLOAD

20 MIRROR_TARGET: COPY INTERESTS, VALUES, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

30 SET_HOOK: DROP “I’VE NEVER FELT THIS BEFORE” + “YOU’RE DIFFERENT”

40 BEGIN DEVALUATION: RAISE EYEBROW, GO COLD, WITHHOLD PRAISE

50 TRIANGULATE: INTRODUCE “EX” OR “BEST FRIEND” INTO EVERY CONVERSATION

60 GASLIGHT: DENY WHAT JUST HAPPENED, REWRITE MEMORY IN REAL-TIME

70 PROJECT: ACCUSE TARGET OF FEELINGS THE NARC IS HAVING

80 BLAME_SHIFT: ERROR = ALWAYS USER_FAULT

90 MINIMIZE_HARM: “YOU’RE TOO SENSITIVE” OR “IT WAS JUST A JOKE”

100 EMOTIONAL_VACUUM: SUCK ENERGY, THEN GO QUIET

110 BREADCRUMB: SEND “U OK?” TEXT AFTER 4 DAYS OF SILENCE

120 INVALIDATE: INTERRUPT, MOCK, UNDERCUT CORE IDENTITY

130 SABOTAGE_GOALS: MOCK AMBITIONS OR “FORGET” IMPORTANT DATES

140 SMEAR_CAMPAIGN: TELL OTHERS YOU’RE “CRAZY” OR “ABUSIVE”

150 FAKE_REMORSE: “I GUESS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON” (LOOKS DOWN SADLY)

160 REHOOK: CRY, TEXT “I MISS US,” SEND SONG LINK

170 REPEAT LOOP UNTIL USER_SELF_WORTH < 0

180 IF USER_ESCAPE = TRUE THEN

190 INITIATE VICTIM_MODE: “AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU…”

200 ACTIVATE NEW_SUPPLY

210 END IF

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