NARCv1.0
Irony #32
The Personality App You Didn’t Download but Somehow Still Got Installed
10 LOVE_BOMB: INITIATE INTENSE ATTENTION + COMPLIMENT OVERLOAD
20 MIRROR_TARGET: COPY INTERESTS, VALUES, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
30 SET_HOOK: DROP “I’VE NEVER FELT THIS BEFORE” + “YOU’RE DIFFERENT”
40 BEGIN DEVALUATION: RAISE EYEBROW, GO COLD, WITHHOLD PRAISE
50 TRIANGULATE: INTRODUCE “EX” OR “BEST FRIEND” INTO EVERY CONVERSATION
60 GASLIGHT: DENY WHAT JUST HAPPENED, REWRITE MEMORY IN REAL-TIME
70 PROJECT: ACCUSE TARGET OF FEELINGS THE NARC IS HAVING
80 BLAME_SHIFT: ERROR = ALWAYS USER_FAULT
90 MINIMIZE_HARM: “YOU’RE TOO SENSITIVE” OR “IT WAS JUST A JOKE”
100 EMOTIONAL_VACUUM: SUCK ENERGY, THEN GO QUIET
110 BREADCRUMB: SEND “U OK?” TEXT AFTER 4 DAYS OF SILENCE
120 INVALIDATE: INTERRUPT, MOCK, UNDERCUT CORE IDENTITY
130 SABOTAGE_GOALS: MOCK AMBITIONS OR “FORGET” IMPORTANT DATES
140 SMEAR_CAMPAIGN: TELL OTHERS YOU’RE “CRAZY” OR “ABUSIVE”
150 FAKE_REMORSE: “I GUESS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON” (LOOKS DOWN SADLY)
160 REHOOK: CRY, TEXT “I MISS US,” SEND SONG LINK
170 REPEAT LOOP UNTIL USER_SELF_WORTH < 0
180 IF USER_ESCAPE = TRUE THEN
190 INITIATE VICTIM_MODE: “AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU…”
200 ACTIVATE NEW_SUPPLY
210 END IF